


Alcohol and Religion

by memesf0r0ne



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: 4am writing when I shouldn't even have my phone, Aziraphale and Crowley are confused, Drinking, Drinking & Talking, Fluff, Gen, God is confusing, Kissing, M/M, Other, discussion of nomenclature, discussion of theology and stuff, everyone is, free will? or are we robots, if God is love and love is happiness and happiness is gay then God is gay, much eloquent, tw: religion, uhh, uwu?, very word, what else do i tag, wow words, yo I watched Studio C while writing this what is going on
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-31
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2020-10-04 03:55:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20464598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/memesf0r0ne/pseuds/memesf0r0ne
Summary: Exactly what the title says: two homocelestials get drunk and talk about ineffability, divine ordination, and get a bit lovey-dovey.





	Alcohol and Religion

It may seem unusual to some people the amount of alcohol others can consume. But when it comes to immortal vessels, nobody can say precisely how much alcohol can go into one of those. They don't get sick like humans do, which means no alcohol poisoning, but they are susceptible to other things. Cursing, blessing, et cetera.

At this time, Aziraphale and Crowley were sitting in the back room of a bookstore in Soho, and there were at least forty bottles around them.

"No, no, look. Armageddon't. That's what it was," Aziraphale was insisting.

"Nuh! Anti-pocalypse."

"Whatever you want to call it. The point is, that not happening was part of the― th' in...Big Plan. That big one. God's, y'know?"

Crowley sat up quickly. "W― oh no, one sec, got up too fast." He sat there with his elbows on his knees for a moment. "Right. So. Is anything we do from here part of the inedible plan?"

Thinking as well as he could, Aziraphale scooted forward in his chair. "What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking― um, God knows everything, yeah? So isn't everything we do part of The Plan?"

"Well, there's influence from other forces, so, not everything is God-ordained. But, God will go ahead n' use it for good."

"But doesn't She know that other forces will mess it up?" Crowley said, then chugged a bit of beer in a can.

"Yes. No. Yes, it's all part of the plan for salvation and...stuff."

"But―"

"We're not supposed to be questioning the ineffable plan! That's why it's ineffable!" Aziraphale exclaimed, stumbling forward. He landed on the floor in front of Crowley. It was quiet for a bit, and then he said, "It's comfortable down here. Join me."

Crowley slithered out of the chair, and got a bit too close to Aziraphale for either's comfort. Strangely enough, after about a minute, they wanted to move closer.

"It's cold, innit? Yeah. Cold." Crowley shifted and laid his head on Aziraphale's collarbone.

"Yes," Aziraphale said, wrapping his warm body against Crowley.

"I like you," Crowley muttered.

"I like you too," Aziraphale smiled.

"Do you think that if we disobey rules it's part of the plan?"

"Depends on the rule."

"The...unspoken one about fraternizing."

"God is a being of love…" Crowley lifted his head to look at Aziraphale, who quieted.

The room was silent, and the quietness echoed. Crowley re-laid his head and Aziraphale beamed.

"Too bright, sweetheart, tune it down, please," Crowley groaned. Aziraphale chuckled.

"So. Do you want to sober up," Aziraphale began, "or…?"

Again, Crowley lifted his head. "Nah."

He leaned forward and Aziraphale toppled over backwards.

"Crowley, what are you doing?"

"Um. Fraternizing?"

Aziraphale frowned, furrowing his brow. "You mean you want to?"

"Do you not?" Crowley asked nervously.

"No, I could. I do. Sure. Yes. Please."

Tentatively, the demon pulled Aziraphale up and pressed his hand to the angel's own. His eyes trailed down, stopping at a pair of pink lips, slightly parted.

Crowley hummed, pausing, and Aziraphale dove in. He was slightly more experienced than Crowley, who was fairly unreactive until he realized what was happening. He opened his mouth, forked tongue flicking out against Aziraphale's lips.

"That's good," Aziraphale moaned, and as his eyes shut, Crowley could have sworn he saw God manifest just to give him a thumbs up.

In response, he hummed.


End file.
